It's funny - I set up this blog thinking that I would have these great things I could show my mom (and convince her to get internet at home!) and then I get a call that she has died. Quickly getting out to Kentucky and taking care of her arrangements and her stuff all in a week was certainly jolting. I know the "plan" of how we lived before this life and we agreed to come down for this mortal probation and then we would die, only to continue living with our Father in Heaven. I know the "plan". But I am still in shock that I have to live the plan. I've experienced a lot of death - both my grandmother's, my grandfather, Jamie's mom - but my life completely changed when mom died. My mom is gone. And my life is different. I never really understood just how much a little girl needs her mother, and although I am grown, married, and the mother of seven children now, I feel like such a little girl. There are moments when it just hits me that she's gone and I feel very alone in that moment. It is helping me though, to appreciate the time I have with my own kids - not to take a moment for granted, to know that they, too, need their mother. I know that my mother loved me and I pray that she knew that I loved her - those were my last words to her - "love you mom". I am a different person now, but I am still my mother's daughter.
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